So I went to a friend's party tonight, a gesture for my friends who want me to move on and away from my depressive state and continued pitiful outlook on things.  And I realized one thing, it's not that I hate parties because people who go to parties are idiots (which is an indisputable fact), but it's because the very atmosphere of the party itself makes me feel like a shell of a person.  The whole essence of that which is party is anathema to me.  Think of it this way for a moment...  What do you do when you prepare yourself for a party?

1.  You alert your friends--This is the first and most important action of every party goer.  Your friends are your lifeline...granted, a friend may be throwing the party, but you always make sure to arrive with at least one friend.  In doing so, you are given a way out, a safe mind to vis a vis with.  It's like parachuting into enemy territory, you can't do it alone.  And herein lies an issue I think, well hidden of course.  You go to parties with essentially what amounts to a social bodyguard, someone who you can interact with on a level other than 'please touch my groin' or 'let's share a moment when our hearts and minds meet...and then touch my groin.'  This is why parties are dangerous, for they are recognizably the place for this activity, a place where you essentially concede that you don't want to talk to anyone other than to grab their groin.  If you did, why would you bring your safety?  The safety friend allows you to remain insular, to not put yourself out there, to be possibly rebuffed at your attempt at talking to someone.  In this way, everyone cliques-up, and absolutely no real conversation takes place, for it is on the 'no man's land' of idle inane chatter.

2.  You get gussied up--It seems like everyone I know does this.  People actually cultivate their appearance to impress others in a social space.  I could go on a giant rant about how wrong this is, and how it actually damages who you are as a person...but I won't.  Suffice to say, if you change clothes for the purpose of going to a party, you need to rethink your life.  This also links to the grabbing groin phenomenon...for while many people do not go to parties for this express purpose, they do insist on fooling themselves under the pretense of 'fun' rather than groin grabbing.  You want to look sexy, you want to look desirable, even as you try and maintain a sense of dignity by not groping someone else.  So really, everyone wears a giant sign that says LOOK BUT DON"T TOUCH, TALK TO, OR CONNECT WITH--I AM HERE AS A COMMODITY, CONSUME ME AS YOU WISH.  Parties are about spectacle, they are about communal experience, they are about the visceral boorish nature of life.

I'm tired I'm not going to finish this.  What's rule #2?  Keep your shoes on your feet.  Otherwise I'll take them.