val i Mornia 6: I feel you, dude.
Slayngren: we all fear the herp
Slayngren: and the clap
Slayngren: and the gon
Slayngren: and the syph
val i Mornia 6: Myd?
Slayngren: and the aids
Slayngren: not the crabs though
Slayngren: they can be controlled with careful grooming
val i Mornia 6: UGH.
val i Mornia 6: I"m scaredest oft hem.
Slayngren: they are creepy
Slayngren: i imagine them with little straw hats
Slayngren: and rakes
val i Mornia 6: HAHAH
Slayngren: forced to eke out a living on your groin
val i Mornia 6: I DO TOO
val i Mornia 6: RAKES.
Slayngren: the women have head coverings
val i Mornia 6: HAHHA
val i Mornia 6: They're African-Groinian-American, no?
Slayngren: like slovaks
Slayngren: no no no
val i Mornia 6: lol
Slayngren: they're like serbian
Slayngren: but they have straw hats
Slayngren: cuz it's hot down there on your groin
Slayngren: more like the carribean in climate
Slayngren: i mean they have to come from somewhere, they didn't just spontaneously appear one day on someone's groin
Slayngren: so they're a cold weather folk
Slayngren: but easily acclimate to heat and humidity
val i Mornia 6: Do they burn easy?
Slayngren: i've heard that they fear fire
Slayngren: as all god-loving creatures do
Slayngren: but they build their huts partially underground
val i Mornia 6: I'm putting this on my livejournal. 
val i Mornia 6: Okay?
Slayngren: that's fine
Slayngren: but seriously, because they fear 'he or she who takes away the forest'
Slayngren: the shaver cannot dissuade them
Slayngren: merely forces them to their homes, they will rebuild as they always do
val i Mornia 6: What do they do for fun?
Slayngren: they are a hardy people
Slayngren: THEY DANCE
Slayngren: clearly
Slayngren: they have miniature fiddles
val i Mornia 6: Do they do the.... BOX step?!
Slayngren: they love the fiddler on the roof musical
val i Mornia 6: ahem ahem...
val i Mornia 6: Love my bad puns.
Slayngren: 'i wish i was a snatch man, ba ba dee ba ba ba dee ba dee ba dum'
val i Mornia 6: lol
Slayngren: they have festivals
Slayngren: that prepare for the great darkening
val i Mornia 6: To celebrate what?
val i Mornia 6: Oh.
Slayngren: COITUS
Slayngren: so that they can send their little ones on a vision quest, a journey to unexplored wildernesses
Slayngren: so that they to, can form a community
val i Mornia 6: LOL
Slayngren: there are several families
Slayngren: the bastanini's, the verchoysk, and the verumkumpf being the most prevalent
val i Mornia 6: Is there any form of government?
Slayngren: it is a loose oligarchy
Slayngren: based around the eldest members of the families providing someone to sit on the council
val i Mornia 6: Patriarchal society?
Slayngren: unlike our culture, the old are venerated for their wisdom, and tenacity
Slayngren: it's fairly egalitarian
Slayngren: everyone has a niche however, and are nurtured to fit whatever it is that they do best
val i Mornia 6: What is their god?
Slayngren: so that they can excel
Slayngren: their god?
Slayngren: barry white
val i Mornia 6: Yes.
val i Mornia 6: HA
Slayngren: there are several minor gods as well
val i Mornia 6: The god KY?
Slayngren: and a growing cult of usher
Slayngren: ky is a mixed blessing
val i Mornia 6: How so?
Slayngren: it often helps with the movement process, but many a young crab is taken away in the deluge
val i Mornia 6: hahahahaha
val i Mornia 6: oh god
Slayngren: it's a dangerous life
Slayngren: but they are a faithful folk
Slayngren: and stick by the old ways
val i Mornia 6: How about their cousins, Bodilice, who've migrated?
Slayngren: it's a friendly rivalry
Slayngren: either side sometimes hosts games
Slayngren: and there is ritual combat on occasion
val i Mornia 6: Games?
Slayngren: yes competitive sports
val i Mornia 6: "Grab the Pube"?
Slayngren: they grease them up
Slayngren: and try to see who can shimmy up the fastest
Slayngren: sometimes there is intermarriage but it ends in disaster
Slayngren: the crabs are too proud a people and will execute eloping couples
Slayngren: for weakening the bloodlines
val i Mornia 6: hah
Slayngren: on the other hand, sexual interaction between the two groups does not break any taboos, so at the rare occasion when the two groups meet, there is raucous partying, much in the way we conceive carnivale or mardi gras, though with considerably less toplessness (much to the chagrin of the lice)
val i Mornia 6: Nowhere good to honeymoon, anyway:  maybe the Anus Islands.
Slayngren: too many eruptions
val i Mornia 6: HAHAH
Slayngren: the crab people long since moved away from such dangerous seismic activity
val i Mornia 6: I <3 you.
Slayngren: i <3 you too
val i Mornia 6: You've transported me to another world this noon.
Slayngren: a fanciful magical place
val i Mornia 6: Totally.
Slayngren: full of hardworking crabs and their blissfully simple lives
Slayngren: if you'd like to learn more, i'd be happy to give you an on-site tour
Slayngren: OOOOOHHHH SNAP