Two absolutely ricockulous things that happened to myself and my buddy Jeremy a few days ago...

Ben was over my house, which as always, was a blast.  We had been playing some confrontation (a french miniatures game...yeah shutup), but I had wandered into the kitchen to get some shizzle together to eat.  Upon exiting the kitchen, I heard the latch to our door open and crack ever so slightly.  In response, in my loudest stereotypically latino voice I yelled GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY...HEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYY

It was our RHC, Rob.  He had come to inform us of a meeting for our group of houses.  I felt like a right ass, and then I felt Rob's ass.

Jeremy was in a similar situation, in which he had been in the shower while a maintenance crew was working on some electrical system in his house.  He had thought that the crew left, because they were no longer in the living room.  Wandering into his room groggy with post-masturbatory haze, and wet from the shower, Jeremy wandered into his room to see some of his stuff moved around.  Naturally he responded with 'Who's been messing with my glavin?' 

"I HAVE," responded a very burly redneck.  And Jeremy then wet his pants.