And the night begins...

Anda6684: since i spetn this week on the couch in the common room w/ a box of tissues, i didnt' go to practice
Anda6684: and we have a two day meet starting tomrrow
Anda6684: and i have to swim 200 fly
Anda6684: so, basically, i'm gonna die
Anda6684: this may be the last conversation you ahve with me
Anda6684: :-P
Slayngren: ....that's ominous
Slayngren: i guess i better get some stuff out then
Anda6684: haha
Slayngren: amanda, i'm actually an alien
Slayngren: i came to earth in search of booty
Slayngren: pirate booty
Slayngren: but finding that all the pirates were dead
Slayngren: i was without a mission
Slayngren: wandering the world for several years, i became a full-fledged vagrant
Slayngren: until an old samurai master took me under his wing
Slayngren: and taught me the ways of the sword
Slayngren: then i began righting wrongs
Slayngren: which brings us to today
Anda6684: hmm...that explains some things
Anda6684: :-P
Slayngren: well it certainly explains the vagrancy
Slayngren: ....sort of

And for some reason keeps going...

Slayngren: shit wait i have more to confess
Anda6684: haha
Anda6684: what's that?
Slayngren: I spent two years as a yugoslavian fisherwoman
Slayngren: my name was yergic snokalov
Anda6684: LOL
Slayngren: i had a son and a daughter
Slayngren: their names were nobrev and ulga
Slayngren: they had a fine job
Slayngren: smashing sheep for a living
Anda6684: aww
Slayngren: to be made into sheep paste
Anda6684: poor sheep
Slayngren: a local specialty
Anda6684: eww
Slayngren: my husband was a good man
Anda6684: LOL
Slayngren: but got his hand caught in a shoe destroyer
Slayngren: i grieved for nearly a month
Slayngren: staying at home eating sheep paste
Slayngren: but mostly i grieved for the children
Slayngren: growing up without a father figure meant that I had to raise them with eastern european television
Slayngren: show's like yurgic's industrial worker's marxist power hour
Anda6684: ouch
Slayngren: and the public execution showcase
Anda6684: that's no way to raise a child
Anda6684: haha
Slayngren: i know
Slayngren: which is why i had to stop
Slayngren: and move back here
Slayngren: it's a sad story really
Slayngren: i still send my little ones canned pears and horse ears
Anda6684: canned pears are good
Slayngren: only the best for my little ones
Slayngren: so now you know some of my startling secrets

And keeeeps going....

Slayngren: ballroom dancing?
Anda6684: probably
Slayngren: i had to do that once
Slayngren: it was a DISASTER
Slayngren: as you can probably imagine
Anda6684: bodde tries to make me do that
Anda6684: ...and she always makes me be the guy
Slayngren: me+suit+tie=nightmare
Slayngren: yeah what's the deal with that
Slayngren: people always make me be the guy too
Slayngren: assholes
Anda6684: haha
Slayngren: i mean i get all gussied up
Slayngren: even wear those fancy stockings
Slayngren: and for what
Slayngren: to get upstaged by some painted hussy!
Slayngren: i swea to gawd

............I......I have no excuses