Freud would love this little gem
I wake up this morning a little
earlier than usual...abooouuut 530 or so. Now granted, I don't
stay up, but I certainly allow my head to wrap around the dream I just
had...the excerpt thus follows for your enjoyment...
Let me just say for the record, that I'm not a big fan of Johnny Depp (already I can guess of where you think this dream is going...but unfortunately no, it doesn't go that way), nor do I have any interest in seeing the new charlie and the chocolate factory. But why did I have a dream about it? Well, it's because I secretly want to have sex with it. That's right, the movie. Not johnny depp, not any of the actors/actresses, the movie itself. Not the film the movie is on, the idea of the movie. I want to put my penis in it clearly. So from this introduction I begin.
My friends Dan, Nick, and I are with Mr. Depp on the way down this vassssst elevator. I wouldn't really call it an elevator, more of a metal shaft (hah shaft) that we're traveling down on this circular platform. It is dead silent, and as far as we can ascertain, this is the end of the tour. We reach the bottom, and are forced to dip our heads underneath a low gray ceiling. Essentially, the entire experience is like walking in those illusory rooms where the ceiling and floor converge but everything looks entirely normal. So we crawl out this tiny door and he essentially tells us to shove off and that's that. Only, for some reason, that wasn't that. We got all ornery. We were gyped! We wanted more chocolate factory to explore, so we devised several methods of tricking depp, or just getting back inside. After much deliberation, we went with my plan. What was my plan you ask?
'Let's just beat him to death with our shoes.'
So we take off our shoes, tie the laces together, and make our way towards the good man's office. We are greeted however, with a far more deadly weapon than mere shoes. He has a giant catapult, and a giant supersoaker, filled with what I can only equate to poop. After a long siege, we essentially give up and the dream is over.
Let me just say for the record, that I'm not a big fan of Johnny Depp (already I can guess of where you think this dream is going...but unfortunately no, it doesn't go that way), nor do I have any interest in seeing the new charlie and the chocolate factory. But why did I have a dream about it? Well, it's because I secretly want to have sex with it. That's right, the movie. Not johnny depp, not any of the actors/actresses, the movie itself. Not the film the movie is on, the idea of the movie. I want to put my penis in it clearly. So from this introduction I begin.
My friends Dan, Nick, and I are with Mr. Depp on the way down this vassssst elevator. I wouldn't really call it an elevator, more of a metal shaft (hah shaft) that we're traveling down on this circular platform. It is dead silent, and as far as we can ascertain, this is the end of the tour. We reach the bottom, and are forced to dip our heads underneath a low gray ceiling. Essentially, the entire experience is like walking in those illusory rooms where the ceiling and floor converge but everything looks entirely normal. So we crawl out this tiny door and he essentially tells us to shove off and that's that. Only, for some reason, that wasn't that. We got all ornery. We were gyped! We wanted more chocolate factory to explore, so we devised several methods of tricking depp, or just getting back inside. After much deliberation, we went with my plan. What was my plan you ask?
'Let's just beat him to death with our shoes.'
So we take off our shoes, tie the laces together, and make our way towards the good man's office. We are greeted however, with a far more deadly weapon than mere shoes. He has a giant catapult, and a giant supersoaker, filled with what I can only equate to poop. After a long siege, we essentially give up and the dream is over.
Subsume and Lick!
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